Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
