butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
