Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
