at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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