Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
