I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My penis needs a shock collar
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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