Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize