I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
