Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
