i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize