dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
