Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
