a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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