She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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