There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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