We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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