three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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