Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
