He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
