yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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