the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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