Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
