hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
only if we run a train.
done.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
