i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
