Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
