all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
