His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
