A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize