I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
