Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I wish there were birth control emojis
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
