im about as happy as oj after his trial
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
