where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
