You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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