i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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