her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize