What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
