maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
