doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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