Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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