A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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