you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
