i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
