I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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