My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
