I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
