She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
