I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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