oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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