By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
