My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
