going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
