Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
