I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
