Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
