So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
