Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
