So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
