I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You ruined the universe
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
