he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
