You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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