google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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