I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
