I showed him my bush... on skype.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
