normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
