Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
