didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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