Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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