Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This house was built for laser tag.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
