Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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