Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My dick has a subreddit
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
